No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
