You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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