If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She bit a glass in half.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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