yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
