Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
