I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
