I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize