I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
