My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
someone owes me an orgasm
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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