The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
