now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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