Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
