It's like God shit irony all over that family
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
