I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
