Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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