During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
