I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
