is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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