first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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