do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
