but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
