I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
