Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
