Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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