If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
