Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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