I wanna passion pit in your ass
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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