miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
