Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
