All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
the raccoons are back...
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