He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize