What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
