I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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