and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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