this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
