why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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