Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
