you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
