Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
