I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize