what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
