is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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