I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I intend to get homeless drunk
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
