What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Randomize
