Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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