yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize