Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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