i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
