So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
