if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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