I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize