I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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