Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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