So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
