Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize