i think i have herpe
just one?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
