Just fell off a train. Bad.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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