I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
