We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
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