he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
